Poo you (that's right - you)!

Ever wanted to send someone a bit of poo (out of disappointment, not out of love)? Well, Poo You makes it easy - and legal - for you to poo someone.

Perhaps someone stole the seat you'd been eying on the bus this morning. Maybe your evil coworker stole another one of your brilliant ideas. Or maybe your ex-boyfriend has been drunk texting you again. Well, tell all off them exactly how you feel by sending them a box of Poo You's poo!

This isn't some silly gimmick that parades itself as poo, but really is a piece of toxic, plastic crap made in China. No, Poo You's poo is truly 100% poo, made by worms. Oh, don't worry - it has been naturally sterilized and is odor free. Heck, it's 100% organic and 100% biodegradable.

Anonymous Poo is making her list and checking it twice. Problem is, the product is so clever and so beautifully packaged that she's not sure whether to send it to enemies or to friends...

Images from Poo You.

Eat poo.

from smackofjellyfish on etsy

Anonymous Poo knows a few people she'd like to send this card to.


(AP also promises to be all sweetness and light next week and thanks you for bearing with her shitty mood this week.)

Kawaii poo

Happy Poo Friends from seiyaleo

Japan has a culture of "kawaii," or cute. Adults buy little trinkets of cute animals, they dress their tiny dogs in silly hand-knit outfits, they anthropomorphise inanimate objects (like teapots) by giving them faces and limbs.

Anonymous Poo hadn't been a fan of this trend. Well, not until now.

It seems that poo has come into favor with the kawaii crowd. Poo brooches (made out of felt, not real poo, silly) abound. Little TP and poo charms dangle from cell phones. One can buy patterns for poo plush toys.

And it's all so cute!

So, Anonymous Poo will start doing a weekly roundup of some of the best kawaii poo merchandise out there. This week, she highlights these items from etsy:

TP and Cell Phone Charm from komodokat

Poo Keychain from shelikescute

Sigh. Anonymous Poo wishes her birthday weren't so far away (for the record, AP's birthday is December 8, dear readers) ...

Everyone poops

Often, when Anonymous Poo is in a multi-stall public restroom and can hear the woman in the stall next to her straining not to poo, she wants to yell out, "Good lord, just let it out! It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone poos!"

So, AP was delighted when she discovered Everyone Poops on her friend's son's bookshelf. She believes that all children should receive a copy of this book before they can even read. Kids need to learn that there's nothing shameful about appropriately-placed poo so that they don't grow up to be stuffed-up grownups ashamed of a public loo poo.

Anonymous Poo is even contemplating depositing a few copies in her office ladies' room, much like the missionary Gideons and their ubiquitous Bibles.

Have a smell

The Japanese are so weird. Maybe they like the smell of panda poo, but it's clear the panda doesn't.

Image from William Bragg.

For the poo lover on your Christmas list

Pooing Santa and Pooing Reindeer from Urban Outfitters. Really, who wouldn't love to receive one of these in their stocking?