Pinch a loaf

T-shirt by naughtee available from cafe press.

This week's poo euphemism is an oldie but goodie:

"Pinch a loaf."

As in: "As soon as that bell rings, I'm gonna run to the john. I've gotta pinch a loaf before I soil myself."

More kawaii poo

Poo and Paper Amigurumi Friends

Oh, love the button eyes! Love the slightly stunned look on Poo's face - and the big, string smile on TP's.

From artontherun's etsy shop. Love, love, love...

Poo you (that's right - you)!

Ever wanted to send someone a bit of poo (out of disappointment, not out of love)? Well, Poo You makes it easy - and legal - for you to poo someone.

Perhaps someone stole the seat you'd been eying on the bus this morning. Maybe your evil coworker stole another one of your brilliant ideas. Or maybe your ex-boyfriend has been drunk texting you again. Well, tell all off them exactly how you feel by sending them a box of Poo You's poo!

This isn't some silly gimmick that parades itself as poo, but really is a piece of toxic, plastic crap made in China. No, Poo You's poo is truly 100% poo, made by worms. Oh, don't worry - it has been naturally sterilized and is odor free. Heck, it's 100% organic and 100% biodegradable.

Anonymous Poo is making her list and checking it twice. Problem is, the product is so clever and so beautifully packaged that she's not sure whether to send it to enemies or to friends...

Images from Poo You.

Eat poo.

from smackofjellyfish on etsy

Anonymous Poo knows a few people she'd like to send this card to.


(AP also promises to be all sweetness and light next week and thanks you for bearing with her shitty mood this week.)

Me need

Angry Olive Poop Bunny from etsy

AP has had a rough week at work since her return from Italy. This softie from SpiderCamp's etsy shop would turn her frown upside down. Anyone?

You'd be AP's bestest friend...

Kawaii poo

Happy Poo Friends from seiyaleo

Japan has a culture of "kawaii," or cute. Adults buy little trinkets of cute animals, they dress their tiny dogs in silly hand-knit outfits, they anthropomorphise inanimate objects (like teapots) by giving them faces and limbs.

Anonymous Poo hadn't been a fan of this trend. Well, not until now.

It seems that poo has come into favor with the kawaii crowd. Poo brooches (made out of felt, not real poo, silly) abound. Little TP and poo charms dangle from cell phones. One can buy patterns for poo plush toys.

And it's all so cute!

So, Anonymous Poo will start doing a weekly roundup of some of the best kawaii poo merchandise out there. This week, she highlights these items from etsy:

TP and Cell Phone Charm from komodokat

Poo Keychain from shelikescute

Sigh. Anonymous Poo wishes her birthday weren't so far away (for the record, AP's birthday is December 8, dear readers) ...