A doubly-deep hole

u-dig-it camping trowel from Ron's Detectors.

Believe it or not, Anonymous Poo loves backpacking. A few years ago, she hiked from Saddlebag Lake, in Inyo National Forest, to Upper McCabe Lake, in the eastern edge of Yosemite. At an elevation of almost 11,000 feet, Upper McCabe Lake is above the treeline - that high up, (of course) there are no trees, visibility is high, and the ground is rocky.

Which means no woods, no privacy, and no easy digging of toilets.

In case you are unfamiliar with backpacking etiquette, to protect the frail environment and prevent any unsanitary conditions when using nature as your facilities, you should not utilize the same area repeatedly. But this is difficult when you are backpacking with seven other people, there are no trees to shield you, and the soil is rocky. You either have to walk a mile to find an untouched rock to squat behind (if you're a lady), or you have to convince your friends to simultaneously look away while you do your business. Never are anatomical gender differences more pronounced than when relieving yourself in nature.

Anyway, on her first morning at Upper McCabe, AP woke up early and staked a claim behind the largest and closest rock. Her companions weren't pleased. While AP made breakfast (bacon and pancakes and piping hot coffee), her friends plotted out their bathroom usage.

It was finally decided that the remaining ladies had first choice. When Mike (one of the less chivalrous men) objected, Cara (a wispy, 5-foot-tall former ballerina), looked at him, held up the potty trowel, and asked,

"Well, Mike - would you like me to dig a doubly-deep hole? I don't mind sharing."

Mike was quiet for a moment. He had an obvious crush on Cara, but wasn't yet ready for this degree of intimacy. "Umm, no."

"Fine, have it your way." And with that, Cara trotted off to the second-closest rock to do her business.

The moral of the story, gentle readers? Easy - the early bird gets a choice spot in which to park some bark, and gets to enjoy a cup of fresh, hot coffee sooner too.