"Poo" in Italian is still "poo"

Anonymous Poo is going to Italy for a much-needed vacation and will be back on May 6th. Poo posts may be sporadic (or nonexistent) until then.

Buona giornata, i miei amici gentili!

Photo from lightmeter.

Kawaii poo

Happy Poo Friends from seiyaleo

Japan has a culture of "kawaii," or cute. Adults buy little trinkets of cute animals, they dress their tiny dogs in silly hand-knit outfits, they anthropomorphise inanimate objects (like teapots) by giving them faces and limbs.

Anonymous Poo hadn't been a fan of this trend. Well, not until now.

It seems that poo has come into favor with the kawaii crowd. Poo brooches (made out of felt, not real poo, silly) abound. Little TP and poo charms dangle from cell phones. One can buy patterns for poo plush toys.

And it's all so cute!

So, Anonymous Poo will start doing a weekly roundup of some of the best kawaii poo merchandise out there. This week, she highlights these items from etsy:

TP and Cell Phone Charm from komodokat

Poo Keychain from shelikescute

Sigh. Anonymous Poo wishes her birthday weren't so far away (for the record, AP's birthday is December 8, dear readers) ...

Curl off a length

Another poo euphemism from Brother Poo:

"Curl off a length."

As in: "Excuse me while I retire to the john with this week's issue of the 'New Yorker.' I need to curl off a length."

Happy Friday, dear readers!

Everyone poops

Often, when Anonymous Poo is in a multi-stall public restroom and can hear the woman in the stall next to her straining not to poo, she wants to yell out, "Good lord, just let it out! It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone poos!"

So, AP was delighted when she discovered Everyone Poops on her friend's son's bookshelf. She believes that all children should receive a copy of this book before they can even read. Kids need to learn that there's nothing shameful about appropriately-placed poo so that they don't grow up to be stuffed-up grownups ashamed of a public loo poo.

Anonymous Poo is even contemplating depositing a few copies in her office ladies' room, much like the missionary Gideons and their ubiquitous Bibles.

Toilet dreamin'

Anonymous Poo had another toilet dream last night. While these dreams are welcome, they are not as welcome as, say, her recurring George Clooney dreams.

But AP digresses.

AP decided to consult the handy dream interpretation site, Dream Moods, to get to the bottom of her dream meanings.

According to the site:

"To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless. If you are cleaning the toilet, then it means that you are starting to shed your shell or lose your inhibitions.

To see a clogged toilet in your dream signifies that you are holding in and keeping your feelings to yourself. Your emotions have been pent up too long.

To see an overflowing toilet in your dream, denotes your desires to fully express your emotions."

Hmm... AP declines to write much more for fear she'll share too much information with you, her gentle readers.

Purple monkeys love poo coffee, too

In response to yesterday's posting about civet cat poo-coated coffee beans, reader T. Benjamin Larsen sent us this link to a short movie he created around a similar subject.

Apparently, purple monkeys love to eat and poo coffee beans, too. Perhaps they and the civet cats should form a jungle-animal-coffee-bean-eating union and demand fair wages and decent benefits.

But this poo/coffee madness needs to stop. What's next? Anonymous Poo worries that the next news item she reads will involve Juan Valdez, some undigested coffee beans and, well, you know...

Poo clue

Shall we play a game of Poo Clue?

Anonymous Poo has a friend named Poppy*. Poppy and her husband went away for the weekend, leaving their son Hector in the care of Poppy's friend, Todd.

It seemed like a win-win situation for everyone involved. Poppy and her husband got a weekend away, Hector got to eat all the pizza he wanted, and Todd got to entertain his gentleman friend in a spacious flat instead of his studio apartment.

However, upon her return, Poppy went into the bathroom and noticed a very, very large piece of poo in the toilet. At first glance, it wasn't clear whether the toilet had not been flushed post-poo, or if the poo was so large that one flush wasn't enough.

So, Poppy went into Hector's room and asked him if his tummy was all right. "A crap that large isn't normal for a boy your size," she stated.

"No, Ma. I haven't crapped all weekend. That's Todd's."

Poppy put Hector's claims of constipation aside, deciding to address that issue after she had gotten to the bottom of this mystery.

She called Todd and demanded to know why Todd hadn't flushed the toilet, or, if the poo was a clogging three-flusher, why he hadn't plunged.

Todd was miffed. "It isn't mine. I flush."

Poppy wondered if the poo belonged to Todd's gentleman friend, but not knowing how to reach Todd's friend (and suspecting that Todd didn't know Suspect Number Three's number either), she turned to Anonymous Poo for some sleuthing help.

And now AP turns to you, her dear readers, for your help.

Who did it?

Hector?

Todd?

Or Todd's mystery gentleman caller?

Post your response in Comments.


*All names have been changed to protect true identities.